At a job interview

Employer: So, do you have any experience in sales?
Me: I once sold oregano to some middle schoolers who thought it was pot.

didihearthereadyset:

So I accidentally said, “my crotch has a hole in it.” Instead of “my pants have a hole in them.” And this guy looked me dead in the eyes and whispered

"It’s called a vagina."

(Source: racingbarakarts)


sexymphony

dillondean:

thug life? more like hug life. come here

rneerkat:

“youre always on your computer” well ur always on my nerves

timothydelaghetto:

 
frenchinhalechanelxoxo:

Chαηεℓ 
minicanada:

THIS IS MY FAVOURITE TWEET EVER